I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
