eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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