Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
