Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
