yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
