she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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