Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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