I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
