Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
