K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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