Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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