it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
