You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
