Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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