I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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