She is in my trunk
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
