so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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