I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
