the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
