when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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