I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
