He is an equal opportunity slut.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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