while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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