I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
