Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
