I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
