if you like me you must not know who I am
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
