...so i touched it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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