If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
