"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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