We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
