i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
