so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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