bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
operation harelip BJ is a go
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
