Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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