I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
