At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You're earring is so big in my mouth
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
