Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
