Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
