What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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