Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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