He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize