i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
