we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
