It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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