It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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