Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So here I am, sexting at work.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
