I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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