I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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