So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
