I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
