Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
