I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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